Online Poker Vs the Planet of the Apes

Surely at one time or another everyone has witnessed a group of bourgeois canines playing anthropomorphic poker on one or the other of Cassius Coolidge’s series of paintings. But the man’s whimsical imagination wasn’t quite as far removed from reality as one might like to think. Perhaps you believe that chips and chimps do not go well together and that it sounds like something out of a Douglas Adams book, but if you ever played online against someone who had a great-ape photo for his icon, don’t be so sure it was just the excellent players irritating sense of online humor – you just may have lost a few thousand or more to an actual primate. If you thought using a stick to crack a walnut or a skull was the best an ape could do, in this early twenty-first century, when the world is on the verge of a Technological Singularity (think what an “intelligence explosion” can do to PC and online games), you, man or woman, had better think again.

Primate Programming Inc has established that great apes (sharing 97% of their DNA with us) make efficient IT specialists. Individuals are employed by PPI, undergo training and offer their services to PPI clients for peanuts. A later PPI discovery was that the same employees, for purposes of pastime or secondary sources of income, are capable of being taught to play online poker, evincing particular talent for no-limit Texas Hold’em.

If you still think this is a joke, please search “primate programming inc” on google. .

They favor no-limit poker, PPI informs us, because of their proclivity for playful (or half-playful) displays of aggression. In other words, the apes are naturally great at aggressive bluffing. In no-limit games, a player has the possibility to bet all they have at any time – this requires risky, aggressive play and the ability to bluff.

The anonymity of online games helps. There is no way to identify a player as non-human and human players confess losing thousands of dollars (to players later officially identified) when someone who played the early rounds with near to nothing and consistently displayed weak cards would suddenly “bet big”, have everyone call, and then – probably chattering with glee and typing with his/her toes – reveal aces.

The primate-players’ initial employment as computer programmers is not coincidental. It seems, according to PPI, that they independently develop programs which aide them during games. The nature of these programs has not yet been revealed. One thing is sure: “DrDestructo” and “ThePikerMan” could have a full-time professional (online) poker career, if only they wanted to. Outside the laboratory/office, they may neglect their training and prefer the old game of hurtling themselves at the bars of zoo cages and then grin their monkey grin at the startled adults and children. Still, as long as they are paid and fed regular, with bonuses, and are allowed to mate, David Sklansky and Ed Miller may need to update their No-limit Hold’em books in the nearest future.

For the past several years, Norm McAuliffe, a Yale biology Phd and the scientist heading the research team behind the discovery of programmer apes, has been investing money and effort into a Primate Poker Inc, “hiring” profitable ape-players to play for money in rotating shifts, 24 hours a day. He has been quoted as saying: “I’m completely committed to this business model. It is reasonable to say I am “all in”.”

Free Online Poker Sign Up Bonus Codes: Important Things to Know

For those people who want to make more money, gambling can be a good choice for them. It gives enormous pleasure and, at times, even a windfall of cash. There are about 2000 online poker games on the internet available for winning extra cash. First, you have to sign up to play a game, for completing this; the site will give you some bonus money that is called an online poker bonus. This is not a joke; however, the online poker bonus that is given by the website depends up on the listings and the game you select.

Playing poker is a good way to waste time for most players, but there are many people who play to win and this can be addictive. Poker is a good entertainment source as long as it is just time pass, but it is dangerous to get addicted to gambling. Remember this before you decide to jump into the world of playing poker for cash.

Play poker on the internet for free and you can still receive that bonus. How? There are a number of websites, which endorse their gambling site by giving introductory offers such as online poker bonus or sign up bonus so that you can get access to their games and bet with real money, without paying anything. In theory, what they are doing is offering you the chance to play at their site without risking you money up front. Beware, however, that this ploy is very effective in getting you to deposit your own cash eventually.

Today, there are numerous websites promoting these free online poker games–but you will get the online poker bonus only for a limited period after registration, however they offer you lots of excitement while playing these poker games. To increase your fun, as well as their profits, they offer you the online poker bonus starting at around a few hundred dollars.

Be sure that you know what you are getting into before you agree to accept the online poker bonus that is offered when you sign up on a site. This is a ploy that is designed to get you to deposit your money into their bank account. If, however, you are comfortable with your poker skills and feel that you are indeed ready to play for money, why not use their bonus to get you started? You never know, the couple of hundred dollars that they give you may be turned into double that for your wallet.

Sam Farha Vs Patrik Antonius In High Stakes Poker

Sam Farha is one of the most colorful poker players and because of his aggressive and funny style he has millions of fans around the world. No matter if he wins or loses, his jokes, elegance and cigarette in mouth always make it fun to watch him.

In the following hand Farha faces another heavy weight player, Patrik Antonius.

The blinds are $400/$800 with a $200 ante. Farha is a super aggressive and loose player who raises almost every hand with any two cards. This time he has QdKd. This hand is a lot better than the majority of his raising hands. He raises to $4 200. Antonius is next to act and he only has Jh9h but he knows Farha very well so he decides to make a play on Farha. With a reraise Farha might fold right away. If he does not fold, Antonius has a speculative hand with possible flush and straight draws where he might win a huge pot later. Antonius raises to $16 000, all other players fold but Farha would not be himself if he did not make an instant call. The pot is $34 200.

The flop is: 6d3c9d. Antonius hits top pair with moderate kicker, Farha has two overcards and a king high flush draw. Farha has a 53%-47% advantage over Antonius at this moment (9 cards for a flush draw plus 6 overcards make 15 outs). Farha checks and Antonius leads out with $20 000. A typical continuation bet of a bit more than half of the pot with top pair where Antonius thinks he is ahead and he wants to see where he stands. Farha thinks quickly and check-raises to $100 000. Now comes a surprise. Antonius thinks for almost half a minute and decides to go all-in with a pair of nines. Gabe Kaplan does not even have time to react and comment the action because Farha announces a call within a second.

They decide to run it four times. The first time the 3d comes to complete Farha’s flush but the 9c on the river is one of the four remaining cards to give Antonius a full house. This means Antonius wins one quarter of the whole pot. The second time Farha hits his flush again but Antonius cannot draw him out (5dAh). Both players have won once until now when the final two showdowns come. 2s6h gives Antonius two pairs and a 2-1 lead. The last time the 4s5h comes to the board meaning Antonius wins 3-1 and collects three-quarters of the pot.

Be a Student and Pay Your Bills From Poker

The time of crisis, collage students all over the world;,play poker to gather money for food and maintenance. Young people resort to the game of chance because now finding a job is a hard thing to do.

Entry on the poker table, in the students game is between 0.50$ and $1.5$. The big pot, usually reaches 50 bucks, ENOUGH TO PAY BILLS and to provide a home for one month. There was one time when at one hand, a student won a microwave oven, now rarely has food to heated with him :).

In students’ hostels, the tours began in the evening (at 21:00 a clock ) and most of the times, is coming to an end in the morning, with all that most of the players are obliged to get up at seven in the morning, school starts at eight.

The game not missing anything, Everyone is here: boys and girls. All ready for a new one. All in one place all ready to attend the show and to serve a beer. Entry is free, and the atmosphere its awesome. You can tell jokes, stories. they tell old various events in life upon student, everything to make forgotten problems.

Its difficult for young people to find a job, in conditions under which companies seek only people with experience. Most times, if you will find a job you will earn a small amount of money.

Even graduates have big problems to find a job. In most of the times those that graduated the collage starts a second specialization, in order to have more chances to get a job. Winner or not at the poker table We wish you only good luck. Is this the kind of campaign against the crises?!